I am learning to wait. Waiting in the face of darkness is a real test of faith. But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently. –Romans 8:25
My arrows of prayer to heaven are as much about sustaining my trust and endurance as anything else. God has blessed me with signs of encouragement before. They were like miracles and apostolic gifts as I was starting out, solidifying my faith that He was with me and in control. Now, He has shown me that and doesn’t need such displays. I want them but need to trust that He is still just as in control and pointing in the same direction as when we started.
He feeds me as I am meant to be fed now, in His Word. I make more time to read it and it really does soothe me, comfort me, strengthen me, enlighten me. All the years I read and listened to preaching but didn’t let it into my heart- reading now, the Bible speaks and flows and reveals itself with clarity I didn’t always have before. And I always find a passage or verse that speaks to what I am going through- so He is giving me signs in that sense.
It is still a struggle. I wake up several times each night and remember where I am and what is happening, pray myself to sleep again, cast away the burden of agony.
But this is where we prove ourselves. Pray for us.